One thing I am both insanely glad for and upset about is that nobody asks me, "what are you thinking about, right now?" Sometimes, if I am very lucky and pensive, they might ask, "what's on your mind?" but that's not really the same question. In that case I have to pick an answer, a small thing to bring up, usually related to the recent trend of conversation. My brain is not usually focused on that. I know that saying it marks me for what I am: a bad listener. But my head is a weird place--it's processing a lot of stuff in the immediate vicinity, but it's also looking at things from 5 and 10 minutes ago, and from 5 hours ago, and from the last time I was in a situation like this or with the person I'm with. And not just the last time, but all the other times, and how they are all fitting together or not depending on what's happening.

So today, if someone were to ask me, "what are you thinking about right now?" I would say:

I am thinking about what a beautiful day it is outside, and this is making me want to leave work right now and go enjoy it because we really don't get a lot of sunny days here and I should use the opportunity to get some vitamin D and take pictures of the purple shawl that I finished yesterday in the park near by. But also I am remembering that I am moody and morose when it is gray out and I don't like to go in to work, so I should really stay here at work while I am in a good mood and focus on etting as much science done as possible, because I've checked a few simple things off my list today but I came up with another list that looks at the bigger picture of what I am doing and I really need to do that. And I am reading up on Apphot, which is an IRAF package that I can use to analyze my data, and I want to use it to verify some conclusions on the images I am working on, but I also simultaneously want to find out if the lack of flat-fielding for these images caused problems in the numbers I used for calibrating the data that I want to verify, so I don't even know if I can do the verification because it might be wrong and if I am not careful with mistakes then my science could be faulty but no one is here to point that out because I am not in class any more, no one is going to give me a grade for this. I have to figure out if my conclusions are faulty on my own and it's easier to keep them from being faulty than to just charge ahead and try and figure it out later. And I want to go to the market and get milk so I can make mushroom lasagna, which will be fun and a new experience and I'm not sure if that will work in my mini oven. But on the way home I want to go for a walk around the lake and stretch my legs, and I should use the time to go see how much it costs to do laundry at the laundromat cafe because I really need to wash some clothes and I need to know if I need change or a credit card. And if I left now I would have time to go for a walk and check out the laundromat and go to the market AND do some knitting and reading when I got home. I really want to finish up the complicated intarsia of the blanket I'm working on so I can get to the plain stockinette part, and I have that really tricky lace shawl with the really delicate cotton that I want to work on while watching Dr. Who, except I shouldn't watch more Dr. Who because it just makes me feel lonely and miss my cats. And there are thirteen million other projects I want to make like socks and hats and a sweater, and I have yarn and an idea for a sweater now, so I should start that, it will take some time. But I really shouldn't knit and goof off when I get home because I need to work on my master's thesis, it just has a few little blips that need to be ironed out and I should start writing the paper/report that goes with it and make sure I can access the last of the data I need to access, and figure out how to calculate what I should be calculating. But I also need to read papers for the project here, and I have data from November (November, people!) that just needs a bit of poking and a write up and then maybe I could have a finished project, or two, or three, before the big meeting in September. And speaking of meetings, I should really register for that meeting in California and get the paperwork started on that, and fill out my VISA application. I hope that doesn't cost any money. I wish I could buy a bicycle so I could get places faster. These walking sandals really aren't that comfortable and kind of make my heels hurt--maybe they're too big. I miss my cats and my family and I don't know how the hell I am going to make it six months without physical contact because the Danes aren't touchy people and I almost hugged a secretary today and that was bad.


stupid head going in circles and a million directions at once. So many things to get done.

Among them, blogging. But as you can see, I'm too busy and insane to do it. So, here are some pretty pictures for you, with little snippets so it's not too much work to write it all up.



The view out the window of my apartment is simply awesome. I could stare at this all day long. In fact, for a couple of days I stayed home and knit sitting in the window, watching kids play in the street and watching birds over the lake, and didn't leave home at all. It's a bad plan because it makes me feel lonely and I'm always glad when I've gone out, but I like the view.



The lakes by my house are square-ish and pretty clearly manmade, but they have a wide biking/jogging path around them, and lots of bridges, and lots of benchs. I knit on the bench sometimes, because the view is so nice. The breeze is a bit chilly--I can't quite believe how cold it's going to be in winter, and I don't even have my winter clothing. Except for mittens. This lake is a half block from where I live.


They mowed this grass a few days after this picture.


Took the flowers with it. But they were pretty and are already growing back.

Meanwhile, look who arrived late last week!

His name is Walnuts, the Walrus! he is here to keep me company, courtesy of Louise-and-Patrick, and my Twin who mailed him to me and who is one of his favorite people and who has his lover, Wallace, with her in NYC.

Walnuts is very adventuresome and came with a list of demands after traveling all that time in the airtight package. He already got to fulfill some of his demands--he rode the bus with me when I went yarn shopping last weekend. By last weekend, I mean, a week ago, because I am lazy and my thought process works like I described above so I didn't get much written between now and then.

Walnuts has been very busy this past week. He rode the bus with me, and went to the yarn store with me, and helped me eat a Danish.


More updates with Walnuts soon! But meanwhile, I must get some work done, so I leave you with this TEMPTING picture.

walrus in repose.

the land of the Danes

Nearly a week later, I might finally have recovered from jetlag. Maybe. It's still damned hard to get out of bed before 10am which makes me look pretty lazy from the work perspective but I can work anywhere there is a computer so as long as I turn out results I don't think they care. Am I turning out results? *cough* no. not yet. I'm re-learning IRAF with which I've only had the briefest experience, but it's going well so far. I'm also working on an introduction to a paper, and I'm reading other papers that have been recommended by my thesis advisor. Paper reading is a pretty slow process because it's intensive--I swear authors are more concerned about spouting vocabulary than actually communicating. I take extensive notes on each paper I read as I translate it into something logical, but I try not to over-summarize; one of my bigger problems, on the citizen side of the citizen-scientist thing, is that I tend to try to sum up the whole thing I just read in a sentence. maybe two. There's usually a lot more detail and that detail is usually pretty significant in terms of the broader picture into which the research fits, so I'm trying to keep careful track of it.

ANYWAY. You're here for pictures, right? right. I took a lot of pictures and it's only been 4 days and a couple of hours, but I'm sure that will trickle off eventually.

Despite my enthusiasm for international travel, I was very numb for the whole trip--a combination of a very stressful semester full of burnout and a whirlwind week and a half of vacation, seeing family and friends and many many cats. I'm also still healing; it's been six months since Dad died, and it feels like it was yesterday, but at least I'm beginning to have feeling about that again. I sometimes can't believe that I made it through December exams and January qualifying exams at all--looking back now I can see how intensely broken down and numb I was. It was like I was floating the whole time....



ANYWAY. Since I was out of it, I only got one shot of the whole flight. That's the chicago-to-copenhagen airplane, and while it is bigger than it looks, it's really not all that big. 8 or 9 seats across/two aisles, sure, but so was the one I flew down to CA a few years back. It's probably the plane construction itself that makes it capable of international flight--something about how much altitude it can withstand, and how much fuel it holds, and maybe even where the wings were positioned (they were further back than I expected).

The flight was surprisingly easy, and I have to mention that the United representatives on my short flight were very helpful--they moved me up a flight and transferred all my luggage at no charge just to make sure I'd be early enough for the international flight. Albeit they put me on a plane full of people who had been waiting on the causeway for an hour and were probably pretty grumpy, but that was due to bad weather in Chicago.

The international flight was good. Shorter than I expected (8 hours or so, though reported at 15; I must've moved through 7 time zones then), and very smooth. The plane had cameras that you could watch on your screen showing the forward and bottom view, so I did get to see the ocean even though I didn't have a window seat. The staff were very polite and helpful, and I did indeed get two meals and a warm wet towel, which is probably the best thing ever after 7 hours in an air-controlled environment when you are very crunchy and dehydrated.

(there's a tip for new flyers: drink a lot of water on airplanes. I used to get horrible migraines when I travelled, and I thought it was my ears not popping, but it was really dehydration. I always bring an empty water bottle through security and fill it up by the gate. On this flight I had three bottles of water and a couple of cups and probably could've had more). Food on international flights is also better. Which is reasonable, because if I'd gotten a dry bagel with whipped cream cheese for breakfast I probably would've gnawed someone's arm off. Probably the kid sitting next to me.

Downsides? mainly the kid sitting next to me. It was an overnight flight, 10pm to 1:20pm the next day, and this 8 year old brat tossed and turned and twisted and rattled and kept sticking me in the side or trying to lean on me, jerking me out of sleep. I finally gave up entirely and knit in the dark. Oh, and I recommend headphones+ music, just to fill the space with something peaceful and classical instead of thrummy and talky. Anyway, I didn't sleep more than an hour or two despite my headphones, so I was pretty loopy when I arrived.

I followed the signs, in English, through immigration, which involved a 30 second wait while the official stamped my passport (!) and absolutely no hassle, and then around past customs (nothing to declare, so no line there), and picked up my luggage. My advisor was waiting for me with a sign, so we shook hands and he navigated me through a rather confusing train ticket system and got my dropped off at my apartment. I greeted my landlady and two slightly grumpy small dogs, dragged my luggage up three flights of stairs, and goggled.

The apartment is really nice. REAAAALLY nice. Also furnished by IKEA. that made me giggle a bit, but I guess it's appropriate.

Bedroom above.



It is simply *full* of light, which I love. White walls, white curtains, white couch, pale birch colored floor (that's not right... what is it, pine, that looks very pale when cut?) all unfinished. Pardon this picture, my camera was unable handle the glowing light and decided to make everything look dismal instead. I assure you, I don't need to turn the lights on until an hour after the sun sets; sometimes not even then.

The kitchen is also very light, and lots of utensils. There's an induction cooking element that takes some getting used to but is very scientifically cool, and a.... well. oven-substitute, which is to a real oven what Splenda is to sugar. It's about the size of a microwave and has a pretty short cord, but I used it to make garlic oven roasted potato-and-hotdog-casserole, so it works all right. I'll try baking some cookies in it or something this weekend. (don't judge me! the local market didn't have much meat that I recognized so I got some hot dogs. They're not very good. I should go to Germany.)

The bathroom is normal. I also have a tiny balcony and a couple of sun-roof-windows, which sound GREAT when it rains.

After I took a quick nap on Sunday, I dragged myself out at about 4 in the afternoon to see if I could find a place to get food for supper. My landlady said that there was a grocery store around the corner, so despite feeling like death I went for a walk. I ended up going about 3 miles, past the market and a bakery, a park, a museum, and then a long way by some train tracks. I was feeling a little lost and hadn't yet seen an ATM so I stopped in a hotel where a bunch of tourists were getting out of a bus and asked about money exchanges. They told me point blank that their rates weren't very good, and I mentioned I heard ATMs had good rates, so they told me where to find one. And the rate was very good--I think 1%, even better than the airport (why am I surprised by that?), so I took out 1000dkk and wandered on. I still felt like death because I hadn't eaten for six or seven hours and I was getting pretty thirsty, but I found my way back to my apartment and went to the market.

it's a very small market but it has essentials, so I picked up cereal and pasta. Apparently Denmark has good milk and dairy products, so it's a bit like going home but in a totally foreign language. Then I went over to the bakery but they were closed for the day (who closes at 6pm??? even if it IS a Sunday?), so I had cereal for dinner and then collapsed.

I slept in and went to work, and met a lot of friendly people; participated in an astro-ph discussion within 15 minutes of walking in the door; and got my computer set up. Left at 6pm and made some food, played around on the internet and called some people, then went to bed again.

This time I slept until 3 the next afternoon, and I could have slept more. I think I understand what people mean when they say jetlag, now. Exhaustion like a wave, and it takes several days to recover.

It's just been work and sleep and internet for me since then, but I'm planning to explore the city center this weekend and hit up a real/bigger grocer store for something simple, like meat, tomorrow or at least this weekend.

Oh, and for your daily yarnporn fix, here is a pic of the last skein I picked up on sale in MPLS before I left, and the knitting that I did on the airplane. The first flight was an hour long, and I got maybe 3 repeats of feather and fan done before I figured out that I'd joined with my stitches twisted :P dammit! I pulled it back and recast on, and this is pretty much all from the international flight, knitting in the dark.


I haven't touched it since I got here. I'm not liking the way it's going--the feather and fan looks less awesome and more dorky than I expected. This yarn is Aslan Trends Bariloche, which I haven't heard of before. It's worsted weight, very loosely plyed (or rather, it doesn't appear to be more than one strand wrapped around another; it's just twisted around itself), and it knits up very quickly. So far it's not too fuzzy, and the colors in-ball are great, but they look very eclectic when knit up.

Anybody want a cowl?